I was reading Erin McKeown's
post about a pissy email she received from some dude who took exception to her telling a story about visiting a strip club as a prelude to a song. The email is short so I'll include it here for reference:
While suffering through your sub-textually convoluted tale about nights at the Satin Doll, I was reminded of early African American movie actors who would make fools of their own race on camera.No matter how many jazz chord progressions and clever vocal inflections you employ, the conclusion is that you have tasked yourself to resound the message to a full house that it's acceptable to objectify other females for entertainment purposes.
Holding out a dollar bill to extort bizarre behavior from a fellow human being is beyond repugnant. Maybe you have a special - "Gee, I'm bored tonight" - clause in your moral code, that allows you to randomly minimalize others.
I came to the conclusion some time ago that not all misogynists are necessarily men.
So, to address the issue that "Holding out a dollar bill to extort bizarre behavior from a fellow human being is beyond repugnant" I'll just say that it's worse to go to a strip club without any singles! It reminds me of the time I went to a Fairy Butch show in SF (kind of a burlesque show, with some comedy, some match making, some strippers...) and a whole row of us lezzies where just horrified that a sweaty stripper was going to come over and rub all over us. Now,
our behavior was repugnant. Fairy Butch must have seen our grimaces because in the next segment, dressed in counter-drag (dressed as a Lady) she laid all over all four of us....
OR, maybe it reminds me of the time I went to a fund-raising party for the
Lusty Lady in SF. I felt bad for not getting a lap dance or participating in some mud-wrestling--because lady's gotta pay the rent--but I don't like to get sticky or dirty. But I bought a shirt!
Anyway, yes, I'm sure that some sex workers (I'm not going to differentiate right now), have had some kind of trauma in their life (and shit, who hasn't!) and the sex industry is a continuation of this in some way...but there are lawyers out there coercing their secretaries into having sex with them, does that mean that we're going to outlaw lawyers! OK, some might think that this is stretching and that some kind of unequal power dynamic is more apt to occur, or is even inherent in the sex industry and that it why it is singled out as being "mysoginistic", "repugnant", "degrading". I disagree.
I think that there are a couple of more important issues that are too big and burly that people would rather not talk about.
A slight tangent: I saw the movie,
The Wrestler, recently. Marissa Tomei played an aging stripper, Cassidy, who is having trouble rustling up interest and Mickey Rourke plays an aging wrestler, Randy, who enters the ring to cheering, albeit small, crowds. I thought a lot about the juxtoposition of these characters. They both are exploiting their bodies, bodies which are not what they once were. And here Randy is, going out (literally) to cheers, and Cassidy dances to indifference--groups chatting amongst each other, individuals looking for a younger piece of ass. It was really interesting. Sad. Life. Check it out. AND TIP your stripper well!